Have you ever walked into a room or meeting where you were expected to sit down and share your personal history and it didn’t feel quite right? I have. I know that some people do not have a problem connecting with anyone. They show up to share and they do. That’s not me. I’ve been the mentor and mentee. I’ve been the counselor and client. Relationships require open communication to enable life change or healing. I struggled and couldn’t understand why it was difficult for me to show up and then be present. We lacked rapport!
What was missing?
Rapport – the essential trust between people that is available only when there is accord, harmony and an understanding of where each other is coming from and knowing what you can expect from each other.
How to create it?
There is no single recipe for rapport. It’s a measure of ingredients unique to each set of individuals. Some of those ingredients necessary in a relationship’s rapport are reliability and responsiveness to needs. Whether a friend or professional, being there to answer the call makes a big difference to some.
It’s also important to have the knowledge that is useful or in common with the other person. Clubs and social networks are built around this idea. It applies across personal and professional relationships as well.
Rapport does necessitate the willingness to put aside judgement and try understanding the world from the other persons point of view. This can be especially helpful in assistance and guidance relationships. Some tough love can be great but I’ve never met someone who laid their soul bare and was happy to be judged for it.
Asking questions about the right things at the right time demonstrates an interest and a desire to develop understanding about the other person. As does caring and concern that are genuine. A genuine demonstration of empathy to let someone know they are supported and not alone. A line exists between empathy and sympathy, I encourage empathy, if it’s not yours to process simply empathize.
Why is it important?
In a relationship where rapport is critical to its evolution, strength and health, building trust should be the initial step to enable moving forward. Through trust we are also able to generate real communication. It allows for sharing of relevant, deep and personal information. Productive conversation allows for getting to the root issue. Revealing real issues means that action plans are effective and people are dealing with the “thing”. Dealing with the “thing” is how balance is achieved.
Continue to work on your wellness and balance with a community, tribe, village, or esteemed side-kick and build rapport because that is how we get to the authenticity of our experience. I’m always on this journey with you.
From a place of love,
Jen
Baum Balance 