You do but you don’t mean to, tell lies. And really they aren’t lies as much as they are perspective shifting and omissions from your memory banks, like photoshopping a smile on what was really a stressful event but you have remembered as happy because of expectations or denial or some other limiting belief.
It’s cool, because we all do it if we don’t have a practice of intentional story telling. The stories that you tell yourself there are recognizable patterns you would recognize if you analyzed them. These patterns give meaning to your life. You use these stories to make sense of your life: why that happened, what this means. It’s a cozy blanket for our esteem. We color our stories with new reflections as we gain experience. And because we do this we put ourselves into a niche with a label called the comfort zone. As great as the idea of comfort is, this zone is a trap keeping you from change and progress.
Comfort zones are amazing when we are recovering or on the fall before we bounce, but if you have a goal and you aren’t gaining traction, then sister, it is time to get ready to toss that blanket aside and bounce! If you don’t change the story you are telling yourself you cannot get there from here.
The trouble with narratives, limiting beliefs and blindspots is that we aren’t aware of them which means it’s time for some real self awareness and self reflection. This is the time to acknowledge what really happens that keeps you from making progress. And here is a hint: the answer is you. The key is to figure out what behaviors and beliefs are present when you derail.
Once you know what took you of track it’s time to dive into why. Where does that come from? What is it’s origin? And once you found that, in counseling or journaling or meditation or coffee with your BFF or a coach, it’s time to set some boundaries around that behavior/belief and give yourself a trigger. “If _____ happens, then I will _____.” Put it on sticky notes. Write it in lipstick on the mirror. Set alarms on your phone to remind you.
A trigger is a tool that initiates an action. You will want to find ways to practice a new response. For example, you are prone to negative self talk as you change into workout clothing that keeps you from exercising even though exercising is your goal. Just before it’s time to change set an alarm with power words. Leave yourself notes of encouragement at the top of your gym bag. Trigger gratitude and empowerment followed by a completed workout. This is can help foster new beliefs and habits that allow you to complete your goal.
You have a goal and if you put in the work there is no reason why you can’t achieve it. It all begins with the story, your story. This new story you tell yourself stars you as the hero. In this version you try new things, you gain knowledge and skills, you have impeccable self awareness. In this story, you use a growth mindset and healthy habits and beliefs to catapult you to get further than you’ve been before. You can make greater progress toward your goal.
We all tell ourselves a story about who we are and what is possible in our lives. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and existing without a comfort zone. Rewrite your story so that you are the star of your own life and anything you dream to achieve is possible.
Baum Balance 